Why Men Don't Go to Therapy (and Why That's Changing)

I work almost exclusively with men. That was not a strategic decision. It happened because men kept finding me, often as a last resort, and the work kept mattering. ## The Stats Are Grim Men die by suicide at roughly 3.5x the rate of women. Men are significantly less likely to seek therapy. Men are more likely to turn to alcohol, overwork, or isolation as coping mechanisms. This is not biology. It is socialization. ## What I Hear in First Sessions "I've never talked to anyone about this." That is the sentence I hear more than any other in an intake. Men come in carrying years — sometimes decades — of stuff they have held completely alone. Not because they are weak. Because they were taught that carrying it alone was what strength looked like. ## Why That Is Shifting Something is changing. I see it in my referrals. Men in their 20s and 30s are coming in earlier, often before things have fully fallen apart. Some credit social media. Some credit partners and friends who normalized it. I think a lot of it is just that the old coping strategies have hit a wall and men are willing to try something different. ## What Good Therapy with Men Looks Like It is not about making men cry. It is not about dismantling who they are. It is about giving them a space where they can actually think — about their patterns, their history, what they want their life to look like. Most men who come to me leave saying it was nothing like what they expected, and they wish they had come sooner. If you are on the fence, that is normal. Come anyway.